The Fuzzy Jelly Bean Waves Hello

I'm now in week 15, a week after the start of the second trimester.  I made it through all day queasiness, being tired all the time, and the uneasy feeling of "is there really a baby in there?"  I am now patting myself on the back.  Pat, pat.  Things are definitely easier now! 

While I was in my 11th week, Tom and I caught a horrible stomach flu from our roommates (Tom's brother and his girlfriend).  Trust me:  avoid germs like a madwoman if you're pregnant.  You can't stop drinking or eating for two whole days like you would before you got pregnant.  The result was that although I literally couldn't keep water down, I had to keep drinking in the hopes that I would absorb some water.  Both Tom and I were sick at about the same time (although he was more intensely sick than I was, and for longer).

It just so happened that I was sick the night before I was scheduled for my first prenatal.  I see the obstetrician's office at the only hospital for miles (a downside of rural Vermont) and so I knew that I had to drag myself there, unless I wanted to reschedule for an appointment that wouldn't occur for another 3 or 4 weeks.  Tom's and my original plan was to take the whole day together, beginning with the prenatal appointment (and hopefully seeing our baby for the first time), and then going to a romantic lunch while talking about our baby and generally savoring the moment.

The reality was that Tom was just barely alive when he accompanied me into the office.  He actually slept most of the appointment, propped up in an uncomfortable chair.  (Believe me, I asked him if he wanted to stay home, and he told me on no uncertain terms that he did NOT want to stay home.  Love him so much).  I was dehydrated and tired and pretty damn crabby, but I was able to have toast and some chamomile tea that morning.  I counted myself lucky.

We were also lucky, as it turns out, to have an ultrasound at that appointment.  Typically, my obstetrician's office holds off on having the first ultrasound until the 15th week.  I was so dissapointed when I was told that!  However, my doctor unknowingly presented me a way out:  if, she said, I was at all unsure about how far along I was, I would be given an ultrasound to confirm the date.  I scrunched up my forehead and said, "Well, my cycle previous to my last menstrual period was abnormally long.  I guess I can't be sure on what day I ovulated."  Stare. Blink. Smile.  

We were granted an ultrasound to confirm what I already knew:  we were 11 weeks along.  I didn't cry, as I thought I would (but, then again, I didn't cry as I was walking down the isle, either).  Tom was standing next to me, holding my hand (even though he must have been dizzy and really just wanting to go back to sleep) while the technician globbed up my stomach with ooze and pressed the wand-thing all around over my stomach.  Static, fuzz, and then, we saw:  a oval outlined in white, with a fuzzy moving thing in the middle.  It shifted, and then we saw that the little jelly bean actually had a head, and arms, and legs!  The legs were kicking, the arms were waving, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.  I stared and stared at the screen.  I had no idea what to think or what to feel--I was stunned.  My baby was alive, and in the right place, and was moving around inside of me!  I turned to Tom and said, "Look...!"  He squeezed my hand.  I'll never forget how my baby looked the first time I saw an image of him or her. 

It was about the middle of week 12 that I noticed that my belly (which has never been completley flat) was more round.  Now, as you know, my pre-preg pants have been tight for quite some time, and I've been using the belly belt and band for a few weeks.  But until week 12, I was just getting thicker and frumpier.  But the roundness didn't go away...it got steadily firmer and bigger.  I've officially got a baby bump!  I'm showing!  People have commented on my belly!  I'm wearing some maternity tops now, and it feels great.  I've got an ultrasound picture and a bump--I'm an honest to god pregnant lady!

My mother took me on a shopping spree during week 13 (thanks, Mom)!  Although I had planned on buying only used maternity clothing, I found that the stores around my area just didn't have anything I liked.  I ended up feeling more frumpy than ever...and that was NOT what I wanted.  I wanted to show off my bump!  So we ended up in the mall (funny how I've been there a lot lately).  Have to warn everyone:  full panel maternity pants are simply THE most comfortable things ever.  And, yes, I needed them that early.  I was wearing the belly belt and band combo until then, and let me tell you:  although I was able to wear my pre-preggo pants,  that does not compare to the ability to just pull your pants down when you're in the throes of really needing to go.  Belly band and belt were just too time consuming.  

Check out this photo that I took for my facebook page, where you can really see my bump!!   

It doesn't feel scary now that the pregnancy feels more real.  It feels wonderful.  It feels like my baby is sharing my belly with a whole flock of butterflies.

My apologies for the lack of updating....

So, I've been out of the blogging loop, I guess.  Those of you who are my Facebook Friends have a pretty good idea of what's been going on, but for those of you who are not, I'll update you.

Mike and I have been very (im)patiently waiting for our first obstetrician's appointment with the the OB/GYN folks at the CVMC.  We scheduled the appointment in January and they couldn't fit us in with the doctor we had been working with for our fertility issues until March 4th.  So we waited and waited and waited and waited.  Monday the 1st we get home from our respective work places to a message on our answering machine from the doctor's office saying they need to reschedule our appointment and could we come in on the 3rd.  My workday ends at 5:00, which is the same time their office closes, so of course I couldn't call them back when I got home that night.  So I called them back on Tuesday morning to say, "Actually, no, that's not going to work for us."  See, Mike needs to find coverage for his shift if he's not going to be at work and there was NO WAY he was going to miss our first prenatal appointment.

  So, our appointment gets shuffled to the following week March 11th.  (Keep in mind, folks, that this SAME thing happened with an appointment I had in January.  They needed to reschedule and I ended up not even having the appointment because we had the positive pregnancy test, so we didn't need to go in anyway.)  So, the following week we get ANOTHER phone call from the office with a vague message that basically says, 'call us back about your appointment.'  And again late in the day, so I have to call back the next day.  And they can't find WHY they called me.  They went through the whole, "oh it looks like your appointment needs to be rescheduled" and I was like "WHAT?!?!?! AGAIN?" And the receptionist is like, "Oh, nope, that was from last week.  Hmmm.  I'm not seeing anything new in here.  Who are you seeing on Thursday?" so I give her the name of the person I was re-scheduled to see and she pulls up that person's calendar and says, "I don't see your appointment in here." By now I am BEYOND irritated.  So I explain that the nurse had to search for a time for my appointment and maybe that's why it's not in there.  Receptionist replies, no, I don't think so.  Let me see if there's any other notes in your file.  So she checks and finally comes back on the phone and says, "Oh, they were calling to let you know that your provider for your appointment needed to be changed." Oh, Great.  Well can you tell me who I'm seeing?  "You've been switched from Linda back to Julie."  Which is the doctor I was ORIGINALLY supposed to see.  

Ridiculous.  Absolutely Ridiculous.  These are the people I'm supposed to trust with my and my fetus's health over the next 6+ months?  I don't think so.  (More on this in a bit...)

So we FINALLY get to our appointment on March 11th.  We're ushered into the office fairly quickly, so that was nice.  The nurse give us a punch of information and makes me get weighed.  She asked all the crazy family history questions.  She also asks for the first day of my last period, I give her December 10th and she gives me a due date of September 17th.  I say, that's not what I thought.  I didn't ovulate until the 29th (and the 30th perhaps) so I think I'm only 11-12 weeks not 13.  "Well, we always use the first day of the last period.  We can update it later if need be."  LISTEN LADY- I know my body.  Most women probably DO fit into your little formula, but not THIS one.  It took me 20 days to ovulate.  NOT typical.  I asked if I'd be having an ultrasound, "No.  We don't typically do those this early." So I expressed my concern about multiples because of the fertility meds and the multiple ovulations.  Still a no-go.  So then she gives me a gown and says the doctor will be in.   Doctor comes in and we talk some more.  I will have an ultrasound (because of the clomid and the discrepnacy about how far along I am), but the tech that does them isn't in, so can I come back?  Ugh.  Also, I need to stop taking the Vitamin D supplement that was prescribed by my primary as there are no studies to show what 100,000 units a week of Vit D will do to a developing fetus.  We talk about getting tested for being carriers if cystic fibrosis (we pass on that).  I have a "full physical" which includes only a cursory check of my lymph nodes in my neck, a breast exam, and a pap smear (apparently I now have a shy cervix).  So after all that, I'm at the check-out setting up a time for the ultrasound and an appointment for my next visit and the doctor comes out and says, did we get a blood pressure on you?  And I said, "no, she (the nurse) didn't take one."  "Oh, well, when you finish here, come on back and we'll get that.  We need a blood pressure at every visit." Like I'M supposed to know that, right?  So we go back to the exam room and have the blood pressure taken.

THEN we get the joy of going to the lab for blood work and a urine sample.  That goes pretty well, except the phlebotomist is kinda rough.  Oh well.  Not a big deal after the other craziness of the last 2 weeks (although it's been a week since my appointment and I still have a mark where the needle was).

So, the next day we go back to the OB's office for the ultrasound.  Now, I'm sure all of you are aware that this is my first pregnancy and my very first ultrasound.  Needless to say, Mike and I were SUPER excited to lay eyes upon our tiny little baby for the first time.  SUPER DUPER EXCITED.  We get to our appointment at 12:30, we wait for almost ten minutes (which seemed longer as I had a full bladder) and the tech comes out and gets us.  No smile, no 'how are you today?' nothing.  She does the ultrasound and doesn't bother to point out any features to us at all.  She asks why the doctor thought we might be carrying multiples (does that change how you do an ultrasound? maybe it does, i don't know).  She says she only sees one fetus and that it's measuring at 13 1/2 weeks, prints THE blurriest ultrasound photo I have EVER seen, hands it to us, wipes the goop off my belly and says, "your all set."

I wanted to cry.  It was such a disappointing experience.  Mike's doesn't think that she did a very thorough job of the ultrasound and is "not convinced" that there's only one baby.  Oh, she also did a measurement of the heartbeat, but didn't bother to tell us what it was.  

So- Mike and I are completely finished with the Associates in ON/GYN at the Central Vermont Medical Center.  They (with the exception of Dr. Vogel- who is going on maternity leave herself) are not anyone I would trust with my health or the health of my unborn baby.  I know that Stacie has been very happy with them, though, so you shouldn't necessarily take my opinion on the whole situation and the entire staff.  

We've decided that we'll be doing a home birth.  We're meeting with the midwives at Gentle Landing Midwifery in Montpelier tomorrow at 12:30.  My big worry right now is getting the home birth covered by my insurance plan (Blue Cross Blue Shield- The Vermont Health Plan).  They WILL cover a home birth, but only if it's attended by a Certified Nurse Midwife.  I called ALL of the Certified Nurse Midwives on my provider list and NOT ONE of them attends home births.  I called the insurance company and the very nice lady I spoke to said to try for pre-approval and if that works there are 2 separate appeals I can make as well.  Hopefully it'll work out.

Keep your fingers crossed for me, okay?

I'll update again, Sooner this time- I promise!