The Fuzzy Jelly Bean Waves Hello

I'm now in week 15, a week after the start of the second trimester.  I made it through all day queasiness, being tired all the time, and the uneasy feeling of "is there really a baby in there?"  I am now patting myself on the back.  Pat, pat.  Things are definitely easier now! 

While I was in my 11th week, Tom and I caught a horrible stomach flu from our roommates (Tom's brother and his girlfriend).  Trust me:  avoid germs like a madwoman if you're pregnant.  You can't stop drinking or eating for two whole days like you would before you got pregnant.  The result was that although I literally couldn't keep water down, I had to keep drinking in the hopes that I would absorb some water.  Both Tom and I were sick at about the same time (although he was more intensely sick than I was, and for longer).

It just so happened that I was sick the night before I was scheduled for my first prenatal.  I see the obstetrician's office at the only hospital for miles (a downside of rural Vermont) and so I knew that I had to drag myself there, unless I wanted to reschedule for an appointment that wouldn't occur for another 3 or 4 weeks.  Tom's and my original plan was to take the whole day together, beginning with the prenatal appointment (and hopefully seeing our baby for the first time), and then going to a romantic lunch while talking about our baby and generally savoring the moment.

The reality was that Tom was just barely alive when he accompanied me into the office.  He actually slept most of the appointment, propped up in an uncomfortable chair.  (Believe me, I asked him if he wanted to stay home, and he told me on no uncertain terms that he did NOT want to stay home.  Love him so much).  I was dehydrated and tired and pretty damn crabby, but I was able to have toast and some chamomile tea that morning.  I counted myself lucky.

We were also lucky, as it turns out, to have an ultrasound at that appointment.  Typically, my obstetrician's office holds off on having the first ultrasound until the 15th week.  I was so dissapointed when I was told that!  However, my doctor unknowingly presented me a way out:  if, she said, I was at all unsure about how far along I was, I would be given an ultrasound to confirm the date.  I scrunched up my forehead and said, "Well, my cycle previous to my last menstrual period was abnormally long.  I guess I can't be sure on what day I ovulated."  Stare. Blink. Smile.  

We were granted an ultrasound to confirm what I already knew:  we were 11 weeks along.  I didn't cry, as I thought I would (but, then again, I didn't cry as I was walking down the isle, either).  Tom was standing next to me, holding my hand (even though he must have been dizzy and really just wanting to go back to sleep) while the technician globbed up my stomach with ooze and pressed the wand-thing all around over my stomach.  Static, fuzz, and then, we saw:  a oval outlined in white, with a fuzzy moving thing in the middle.  It shifted, and then we saw that the little jelly bean actually had a head, and arms, and legs!  The legs were kicking, the arms were waving, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.  I stared and stared at the screen.  I had no idea what to think or what to feel--I was stunned.  My baby was alive, and in the right place, and was moving around inside of me!  I turned to Tom and said, "Look...!"  He squeezed my hand.  I'll never forget how my baby looked the first time I saw an image of him or her. 

It was about the middle of week 12 that I noticed that my belly (which has never been completley flat) was more round.  Now, as you know, my pre-preg pants have been tight for quite some time, and I've been using the belly belt and band for a few weeks.  But until week 12, I was just getting thicker and frumpier.  But the roundness didn't go away...it got steadily firmer and bigger.  I've officially got a baby bump!  I'm showing!  People have commented on my belly!  I'm wearing some maternity tops now, and it feels great.  I've got an ultrasound picture and a bump--I'm an honest to god pregnant lady!

My mother took me on a shopping spree during week 13 (thanks, Mom)!  Although I had planned on buying only used maternity clothing, I found that the stores around my area just didn't have anything I liked.  I ended up feeling more frumpy than ever...and that was NOT what I wanted.  I wanted to show off my bump!  So we ended up in the mall (funny how I've been there a lot lately).  Have to warn everyone:  full panel maternity pants are simply THE most comfortable things ever.  And, yes, I needed them that early.  I was wearing the belly belt and band combo until then, and let me tell you:  although I was able to wear my pre-preggo pants,  that does not compare to the ability to just pull your pants down when you're in the throes of really needing to go.  Belly band and belt were just too time consuming.  

Check out this photo that I took for my facebook page, where you can really see my bump!!   

It doesn't feel scary now that the pregnancy feels more real.  It feels wonderful.  It feels like my baby is sharing my belly with a whole flock of butterflies.