Carlin Louis Zeb!

A short post, as that's all I've time for now:  our son, Carlin Louis Zeb, was born on August 23 at 12:09pm.  He was 5 pounds 5 ounces and 18 inches long.  And now back to mommyhood....more later, when my brains aren't scrambled eggs. 

Do Sleep Zombies Eat Your Brains?

I feel like a sleep-eating zombie.  Only I haven't really slept for crap in the last weeks, so I guess if I'm a sleep-eating zombie, I'm starving.

I've got two main problems that interfere with my sleep.  One is pregnancy induced insomnia--meaning I simply can't fall asleep.  I lay there next to Tom, just being awake and tired.  Eventually I get really grumpy and start to cry.  The night before last I was awake until 1:30, then I finally fell asleep until 4 (had to pee) and then woke up again at 5 (had to pee again).  Then, our cat Boo woke me up one minute before the alarm was to go off--at 6:17.   I was  a wreck yesterday and very grateful to take a nap when I got home.

The other problem I've got is not uncommon amongst the pregnant ladies--I've got a bladder that is being squished by my zucchini-sized baby, and it simply can't hold much.  I try to drink all my fluids in the early part of the day, and I lift my belly when I pee and all that crap, and on most nights I wake up at least every hour and a half to use the toilet.  A catheter would be a relief at this point.

All of this boils down to me just not getting the sleep I need.  I'm exhausted all the time, and I'm getting frustrated because I simply can't do what I want/need to around the house.  Cleaning?  Forget it.  Balance the checkbook?  Ha.  Pay the bills?  Been putting that off for days now. 

I can, however, celebrate the fact that the sciatica has abated!  Every once in awhile I'll get a twinge, but as long as I don't move in certain ways, I'm fine.  And that's a blessing.  I'm not sure that I'm glad that I had to trade my sleep for it, but I'm grateful nonetheless. 

And, although the more everyday tasks are slipping me by and the house looks awful, we're nearing the end of our getting-ready-for-baby list!  We've got one last daycare interview this afternoon, and then we'll make our choice, and that will be out of the way.  We've found our pediatrician (at the Health Center about 2 seconds from where we live), and started the process to transfer my primary care to that office, as well (so we all will be seen by the same group of doctors, how convenient)!  We've got a small list of things that we need to buy for the baby and for my personal postpartum care, but it's perfectly manageable and will be ordered as soon as I finish comparison-shopping.  The nursery is nearing completion, and looking perfectly adorable!  We have our bassinet set up by the bed and the bedroom is re-arranged for optimal getting-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-ness.  My maternity leave is as set as it can be.  I'm starting to cook and freeze a meal a week (tonight I'll be baking two lasagnas, one to eat and one to freeze and save) for the weeks after delivery when we'll be crazy tired.  So, at least I'm not letting everything slip (except for those baby shower thank you notes....shit, I'm an awful person).

Tom continues to be a wonderful husband.  He takes primary responsibility for the animals (even though I continue to walk the dogs with him in the morning, as I need that exercise).  He cleans things when I ask him to (it's probably unrealistic for him to develop that obsessive-compulsive neatness that I've honed over the years, right?).  He cooks dinner for me every night (unless I tell him ahead of time that I want to cook something, and even then, he's likely to help).  Without Tom, I couldn't have made it through this pregnancy (well, I wouldn't have been pregnant in the first place, but that's probably irrelevant).

My parents have likewise been wonderful!  They toured the birthing center with me last week and really supported my choice to give birth there.  My mom stopped by a few days later with a present of some maternity/nursing clothes as well!  They helped us so much when the Volvo was giving us trouble...they are a great example of supportive parents.  

Honestly, everyone from friends to co-workers to family have been absolutely wonderful and supportive.  We are thankful to have such fantastic people surrounding us and helping us through this.   




 

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot....My Ass is on Fire

Okay, yeah, so it's been awhile since I posted.  (I'm 33 weeks now).  Tom keeps telling me to post, because I'll really want to remember this time later (yes, hon, you're right).  But I have good excuses, I swear! 

I'm really proud of these curtains. 

It could be because I'm naturally kind of OCD, but nesting has hit this lady hard.  I have been working myself to near-exhaustion, figuring out the best places for all the cute little baby things, and cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.  And then cleaning some more.  We even re-arranged our living room!  I've also been obsessed with our finances, and trying to find daycare and pediatricians, and going to pre-natals (they're now every two weeks!) and dealing with all sorts of car problems.  I've decided that "nesting" is simply a cute term for "this lady has too much crap to deal with, so she looks crazy." 

The crib, curtains I've made, wall hangings, and a pile of junk to go to the attic

The biggest pain in my butt, though, is quite literally that--shooting pains in my butt that occur whenever I
stand up, move my legs to walk, sit down, or try to bend over (I haven't been successful in the whole bending over thing for quite some time, but I put that in there to make myself feel better).  It's from pressure on my sciatic nerve, and it's awful.  It hurts so badly that I just stop whatever movement I'm making and freeze in place--like a game of statues where the prize is not being in pain.  Hooray.  I can put hot or cold compresses on the area, and I can lay down on the opposite side of the pain, and there are some exercises that I can do (although who's idea of 200 pelvic exercises a day being anything that a pregnant woman would have the time or the inclination to to do is beyond me).  An Epidural sounds just fine to me right now, thank you very much.

In other news (news beyond my ass, that is) the nursery is coming along, and we had a perfectly awesome baby shower in July (thanks so much, everyone!  I promise I'll get those thank-you cards out soon).  I've started to put some things in my hospital bag, and the car seat is all strapped in the car and ready to go (Tom likes to use it to hold take-out sandwiches currently).

The best parts of my pregnancy have been the moments where Tom can feel the baby move, and we just lay together, amazed at this really awesome being we've created.  The sciatic pain is worth it in those moments.

The nursing area (will be moved, actually, and we were given a new glider, but you get the idea)

 

And she returns.... finally.

So, My apologies for not being active in the posting world for over 2 months (and for the lie at the end of my last blog, Ooopsies!).  I just haven't had it in me.  Things have been rough, but not pregnancy related, well not bodily anyway.

It does seem as though it's been one thing after another, though.  And that's not cool.

I won't bore you with the details of the whole insurance bullshit appeal process, but I'll give you the short version.  Sent in request for prior approval, was not processed as my primary physician hadn't signed off on it.  The Plainfield Health Center won't sign off on OB stuff.  Sent in an appeal to have my prenatal care covered at Gentle Landing, denied.  Sent in second appeal, denied.  Went to in person appeal at the insurance company, denied again.  So, needless to say, we'll be having to pay for the whole kit and caboodle out of pocket.  Total bullshit?  Yes. 

In GOOD news, though....

Baby growing is going well.  Lots of kicks and bumps which make me smile.   We're still waiting for the strong ones to come through so that Mike can feel his baby moving. 

We had our first prenatal appointment at Gentle Landing yesterday.  That was very nice.  The did the standard blood pressure check, belly check, etc.  We also got to *finally* hear our baby's heartbeat.  Awe inspiring.  For real.  Just amazing.  The baby decided to kick the equipment in the middle of our listening and that was pretty funny.  Quite the giggle inducing episode.

So everyone's big question is about an ultrasound.  The midwife will order one for me if I want one, but I had to call the insurance company to make sure that they would pay for it.  After getting the most round about answer possible, they said 'yes'--- sort of.  It has to be done by one of the covered physicians, blah blah blah.  What a giant pain in my ass, seriously.  No wonder people say pregnancy is stressful.  It's not growing a baby it's all the bureaucratic nonsense that goes along with it.  My goodness.

But let's end this on a positive note, shall we?  I'm enjoying being pregnant, I have 2 more appointments scheduled (June 22 and July 9).  

Our baby is about 11 inches long and as of Thursday I'll be 23 weeks pregnant, with 17 left to go!

Time flies!

Halfway there....

I haven't posted since 15 weeks--we're now 20 weeks along!  The halfway point!  

Not much has happened in the interim--just getting bigger (both me and baby). We did have our level 2 ultrasound:

We found out that I have an anterior placenta (which means that the placenta attached to the front of my uterus, and not the back as is more typical).  It may mean that I won't feel as much movement from the baby (but I've felt some movement, so no worries here).  We decided not to find out the gender of the baby, as we'd like that moment of surprise in the delivery room.  Tom was much more awake and healthy during this ultrasound, and I'm very glad that he was able to hold my hand and enjoy the experience.  It was great to see our baby again, even if he or she was folded practically in half for most of it, making any discernible photos really hard to obtain.  I think he or she gets their stubbornness from me.   
Currently, my symptoms are pretty simple:  I get tired very easily and I'm hungry most of the time.  This fatigue is different than it was during my first trimester when I was just dragging during much of the day and asleep by 7 pm--this is getting overly tired from doing chores or other activities.  Last summer, I could go outside, mow both lawns (front and back) with our reel mower, then weed the garden and play with the dog and I'd not need to nap.  However, over the weekend, I mowed a quarter of the back lawn and cut down some burdock and I went inside and fell asleep for an hour.  I was tired for the rest of the day and I'm still feeling it today.  

The hunger is pretty simple:  I'm just hungry all the time.  I'm trying to take care to eat well, but I'm likely to grab whatever is closest and will fill me up the fastest.  It's harder to eat well when I'm super tired--I honestly don't know what I'd do if Tom hadn't taken up the responsibility of cooking for me every night of the week.   

We've ordered our crib and will start on the nursery very soon.  That, I think, will make the impending baby much more real for both of us.  I'll post photos once the room is done.  
All in all, though, life is good.  

Is it nap time yet?   
 

The Fuzzy Jelly Bean Waves Hello

I'm now in week 15, a week after the start of the second trimester.  I made it through all day queasiness, being tired all the time, and the uneasy feeling of "is there really a baby in there?"  I am now patting myself on the back.  Pat, pat.  Things are definitely easier now! 

While I was in my 11th week, Tom and I caught a horrible stomach flu from our roommates (Tom's brother and his girlfriend).  Trust me:  avoid germs like a madwoman if you're pregnant.  You can't stop drinking or eating for two whole days like you would before you got pregnant.  The result was that although I literally couldn't keep water down, I had to keep drinking in the hopes that I would absorb some water.  Both Tom and I were sick at about the same time (although he was more intensely sick than I was, and for longer).

It just so happened that I was sick the night before I was scheduled for my first prenatal.  I see the obstetrician's office at the only hospital for miles (a downside of rural Vermont) and so I knew that I had to drag myself there, unless I wanted to reschedule for an appointment that wouldn't occur for another 3 or 4 weeks.  Tom's and my original plan was to take the whole day together, beginning with the prenatal appointment (and hopefully seeing our baby for the first time), and then going to a romantic lunch while talking about our baby and generally savoring the moment.

The reality was that Tom was just barely alive when he accompanied me into the office.  He actually slept most of the appointment, propped up in an uncomfortable chair.  (Believe me, I asked him if he wanted to stay home, and he told me on no uncertain terms that he did NOT want to stay home.  Love him so much).  I was dehydrated and tired and pretty damn crabby, but I was able to have toast and some chamomile tea that morning.  I counted myself lucky.

We were also lucky, as it turns out, to have an ultrasound at that appointment.  Typically, my obstetrician's office holds off on having the first ultrasound until the 15th week.  I was so dissapointed when I was told that!  However, my doctor unknowingly presented me a way out:  if, she said, I was at all unsure about how far along I was, I would be given an ultrasound to confirm the date.  I scrunched up my forehead and said, "Well, my cycle previous to my last menstrual period was abnormally long.  I guess I can't be sure on what day I ovulated."  Stare. Blink. Smile.  

We were granted an ultrasound to confirm what I already knew:  we were 11 weeks along.  I didn't cry, as I thought I would (but, then again, I didn't cry as I was walking down the isle, either).  Tom was standing next to me, holding my hand (even though he must have been dizzy and really just wanting to go back to sleep) while the technician globbed up my stomach with ooze and pressed the wand-thing all around over my stomach.  Static, fuzz, and then, we saw:  a oval outlined in white, with a fuzzy moving thing in the middle.  It shifted, and then we saw that the little jelly bean actually had a head, and arms, and legs!  The legs were kicking, the arms were waving, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.  I stared and stared at the screen.  I had no idea what to think or what to feel--I was stunned.  My baby was alive, and in the right place, and was moving around inside of me!  I turned to Tom and said, "Look...!"  He squeezed my hand.  I'll never forget how my baby looked the first time I saw an image of him or her. 

It was about the middle of week 12 that I noticed that my belly (which has never been completley flat) was more round.  Now, as you know, my pre-preg pants have been tight for quite some time, and I've been using the belly belt and band for a few weeks.  But until week 12, I was just getting thicker and frumpier.  But the roundness didn't go away...it got steadily firmer and bigger.  I've officially got a baby bump!  I'm showing!  People have commented on my belly!  I'm wearing some maternity tops now, and it feels great.  I've got an ultrasound picture and a bump--I'm an honest to god pregnant lady!

My mother took me on a shopping spree during week 13 (thanks, Mom)!  Although I had planned on buying only used maternity clothing, I found that the stores around my area just didn't have anything I liked.  I ended up feeling more frumpy than ever...and that was NOT what I wanted.  I wanted to show off my bump!  So we ended up in the mall (funny how I've been there a lot lately).  Have to warn everyone:  full panel maternity pants are simply THE most comfortable things ever.  And, yes, I needed them that early.  I was wearing the belly belt and band combo until then, and let me tell you:  although I was able to wear my pre-preggo pants,  that does not compare to the ability to just pull your pants down when you're in the throes of really needing to go.  Belly band and belt were just too time consuming.  

Check out this photo that I took for my facebook page, where you can really see my bump!!   

It doesn't feel scary now that the pregnancy feels more real.  It feels wonderful.  It feels like my baby is sharing my belly with a whole flock of butterflies.

My apologies for the lack of updating....

So, I've been out of the blogging loop, I guess.  Those of you who are my Facebook Friends have a pretty good idea of what's been going on, but for those of you who are not, I'll update you.

Mike and I have been very (im)patiently waiting for our first obstetrician's appointment with the the OB/GYN folks at the CVMC.  We scheduled the appointment in January and they couldn't fit us in with the doctor we had been working with for our fertility issues until March 4th.  So we waited and waited and waited and waited.  Monday the 1st we get home from our respective work places to a message on our answering machine from the doctor's office saying they need to reschedule our appointment and could we come in on the 3rd.  My workday ends at 5:00, which is the same time their office closes, so of course I couldn't call them back when I got home that night.  So I called them back on Tuesday morning to say, "Actually, no, that's not going to work for us."  See, Mike needs to find coverage for his shift if he's not going to be at work and there was NO WAY he was going to miss our first prenatal appointment.

  So, our appointment gets shuffled to the following week March 11th.  (Keep in mind, folks, that this SAME thing happened with an appointment I had in January.  They needed to reschedule and I ended up not even having the appointment because we had the positive pregnancy test, so we didn't need to go in anyway.)  So, the following week we get ANOTHER phone call from the office with a vague message that basically says, 'call us back about your appointment.'  And again late in the day, so I have to call back the next day.  And they can't find WHY they called me.  They went through the whole, "oh it looks like your appointment needs to be rescheduled" and I was like "WHAT?!?!?! AGAIN?" And the receptionist is like, "Oh, nope, that was from last week.  Hmmm.  I'm not seeing anything new in here.  Who are you seeing on Thursday?" so I give her the name of the person I was re-scheduled to see and she pulls up that person's calendar and says, "I don't see your appointment in here." By now I am BEYOND irritated.  So I explain that the nurse had to search for a time for my appointment and maybe that's why it's not in there.  Receptionist replies, no, I don't think so.  Let me see if there's any other notes in your file.  So she checks and finally comes back on the phone and says, "Oh, they were calling to let you know that your provider for your appointment needed to be changed." Oh, Great.  Well can you tell me who I'm seeing?  "You've been switched from Linda back to Julie."  Which is the doctor I was ORIGINALLY supposed to see.  

Ridiculous.  Absolutely Ridiculous.  These are the people I'm supposed to trust with my and my fetus's health over the next 6+ months?  I don't think so.  (More on this in a bit...)

So we FINALLY get to our appointment on March 11th.  We're ushered into the office fairly quickly, so that was nice.  The nurse give us a punch of information and makes me get weighed.  She asked all the crazy family history questions.  She also asks for the first day of my last period, I give her December 10th and she gives me a due date of September 17th.  I say, that's not what I thought.  I didn't ovulate until the 29th (and the 30th perhaps) so I think I'm only 11-12 weeks not 13.  "Well, we always use the first day of the last period.  We can update it later if need be."  LISTEN LADY- I know my body.  Most women probably DO fit into your little formula, but not THIS one.  It took me 20 days to ovulate.  NOT typical.  I asked if I'd be having an ultrasound, "No.  We don't typically do those this early." So I expressed my concern about multiples because of the fertility meds and the multiple ovulations.  Still a no-go.  So then she gives me a gown and says the doctor will be in.   Doctor comes in and we talk some more.  I will have an ultrasound (because of the clomid and the discrepnacy about how far along I am), but the tech that does them isn't in, so can I come back?  Ugh.  Also, I need to stop taking the Vitamin D supplement that was prescribed by my primary as there are no studies to show what 100,000 units a week of Vit D will do to a developing fetus.  We talk about getting tested for being carriers if cystic fibrosis (we pass on that).  I have a "full physical" which includes only a cursory check of my lymph nodes in my neck, a breast exam, and a pap smear (apparently I now have a shy cervix).  So after all that, I'm at the check-out setting up a time for the ultrasound and an appointment for my next visit and the doctor comes out and says, did we get a blood pressure on you?  And I said, "no, she (the nurse) didn't take one."  "Oh, well, when you finish here, come on back and we'll get that.  We need a blood pressure at every visit." Like I'M supposed to know that, right?  So we go back to the exam room and have the blood pressure taken.

THEN we get the joy of going to the lab for blood work and a urine sample.  That goes pretty well, except the phlebotomist is kinda rough.  Oh well.  Not a big deal after the other craziness of the last 2 weeks (although it's been a week since my appointment and I still have a mark where the needle was).

So, the next day we go back to the OB's office for the ultrasound.  Now, I'm sure all of you are aware that this is my first pregnancy and my very first ultrasound.  Needless to say, Mike and I were SUPER excited to lay eyes upon our tiny little baby for the first time.  SUPER DUPER EXCITED.  We get to our appointment at 12:30, we wait for almost ten minutes (which seemed longer as I had a full bladder) and the tech comes out and gets us.  No smile, no 'how are you today?' nothing.  She does the ultrasound and doesn't bother to point out any features to us at all.  She asks why the doctor thought we might be carrying multiples (does that change how you do an ultrasound? maybe it does, i don't know).  She says she only sees one fetus and that it's measuring at 13 1/2 weeks, prints THE blurriest ultrasound photo I have EVER seen, hands it to us, wipes the goop off my belly and says, "your all set."

I wanted to cry.  It was such a disappointing experience.  Mike's doesn't think that she did a very thorough job of the ultrasound and is "not convinced" that there's only one baby.  Oh, she also did a measurement of the heartbeat, but didn't bother to tell us what it was.  

So- Mike and I are completely finished with the Associates in ON/GYN at the Central Vermont Medical Center.  They (with the exception of Dr. Vogel- who is going on maternity leave herself) are not anyone I would trust with my health or the health of my unborn baby.  I know that Stacie has been very happy with them, though, so you shouldn't necessarily take my opinion on the whole situation and the entire staff.  

We've decided that we'll be doing a home birth.  We're meeting with the midwives at Gentle Landing Midwifery in Montpelier tomorrow at 12:30.  My big worry right now is getting the home birth covered by my insurance plan (Blue Cross Blue Shield- The Vermont Health Plan).  They WILL cover a home birth, but only if it's attended by a Certified Nurse Midwife.  I called ALL of the Certified Nurse Midwives on my provider list and NOT ONE of them attends home births.  I called the insurance company and the very nice lady I spoke to said to try for pre-approval and if that works there are 2 separate appeals I can make as well.  Hopefully it'll work out.

Keep your fingers crossed for me, okay?

I'll update again, Sooner this time- I promise!

No Waist, but LOTS of Boob

The current trial and tribulation is to find clothes that fit.  I'm super glad that I went shopping before I actually had to, because I'm at the end of week ten, and I'm already wearing my belly belt full time (except for when I wear my Sonoma cords, but those are wicked big.  And, actually, now that I think about it, they were bugging me on my way home from work yesterday).  The belly belt is so helpful--I'm able to wear my regular pants, and will be able to for some time. (For those who don't know what a belly band is, see this link).  I've also got a belly band, but that hasn't worked out so well for me.  I'm sure it'll work better when I get larger. 

Up top is another matter entirely.  My chest has EXPLODED.  (Not literally.  That would be gross).  I bought two maternity bras last weekend, and they were simply the best purchase I've made since....forever.  I'm going to have to go up a size soon, though, even though when I bought them they were big.  But they've made the discomfort minimal (so much so that I don't even mind that I've got a uniboob).  My shirts all still fit, so that's nice.  Oh, and my socks fit.  :)

The fatigue has gotten much better.  I've taken a page from Steph's book, and have made myself go to bed at 9:00, even when I'm not tired (I read for awhile before I fall asleep).  Doing so has made me far less tired during the day.  Imagine that!  

Both Tom and I are anxiously looking forward to this coming Friday, when I've got my first prenatal appointment.  We're not sure if we're going to be able to hear the heartbeat, or get an ultrasound, but we're hoping for some sort of proof other than from my pee.  'Cause as cool as that is, really, it's just pee.  People keep telling me how amazing it will be when we first hear the heartbeat....I just know that I'm going to cry.  I just won't be able to help it.  I bet Tom will cry, too.  

Oh, and I got my first public belly-rub today.  My friend and co-worker Tiff rubbed my belly today before she left our office.  "Goodbye, little prune,"  she said.  "I can't wait for you to come visit!"  

 

Answer: Tired (make that Exhausted) and Hungry.

Question: How are you feeling?

At least, that's the typical answer.  Depending on who is asking there's also, "My boobs are killing me."  Seriously, though, last night I was literally in tears the pain was so bad.  Two nights in a row I have gone to bed clutching a steaming hot water bottle to my chest.  (I recommend this to anyone having boob pains, be they throbbing or stabbing.)  I'd like to take a moment now to thank Mike (husband extraordinaire) for catering to his pregnant wife and being the bearer of the sacred hot water bottle.  He is awesome.

What about other symptoms?  Is that what you asked?  Well, after reading Stacie's post (and hearing about her symptoms) I feel as though I am one lucky girl.  For Reals.

The first pregnancy symptoms I experienced are the ones above- exhaustion, hunger, and breast "tenderness" (whoever came up with that gem should be dragged into the street and shot).  I would be HAPPY with some "tenderness."  What I've got is full on Oh My God The Wind Is Blowing Too Hard combined with What? The Temperature Dropped Five Degrees?  My Breasts Feel That Before It Registers On The Thermometer.  No, I do NOT appreciate having a Doplar radar residing in my bra (which is slowly getting too small) thankyouforasking.

So far- knock on wood- I have had only a couple of bouts of nausea- mostly, I think, due to lack of sleep/over sleeping, and the wonders of increased saliva (WHY does my body feel the need to create more spit?).  I am thankful for the lack of morning/afternoon/evening/nighttime sickness.  [Hopefully, I have not jinxed myself.]

My Favorite Symptom?  (Please don't be mad at me.  I have no control over it.)  Increased libido.  For pregnancy weeks 4-6 I was all about the, well, you know.  Needless to say, it is also Mike's favorite symptom.  Unfortunately, this week things in that department have slowed down.  I'm blaming the breast pain.  It's hard to feel "friendly" when the thought of your boobs being touched sends you into the fetal position. 

Another weird thing about pregnancy- feeling really hungry and really full at the same time.  Well, I guess weird isn't the word I want to use as much as really effing annoying!  There's nothing like sitting down to eat and getting not even half-way through the meal and getting full.  Not cool, Tummy, not cool at all.  Especially as I love to eat. 

Let's see--- am I forgetting anything else?  Oh- yes, cravings.  And aversions.
My first craving: Gravy.  Luckily this one petered out after I gave in for about 3 or 4 days in a row.  Mmmmm gravy.  I still like it, but I don't have a need as strong as a thousand blazing suns, so that's nice.
My second craving: Pizza (and it had to be from Pizza Hut) and French Fries.  Guess what I had for dinner that night?  That's right.  Pizza and French Fries.  I'm so glad that Pizza Hut has french fries (actually Curly Fries) on their menu or else we would've had to have made another stop. 
Not quite a craving: Sunflower Seeds.  I have always been a big fan of these tasty little treats (IN the shell, of course) but I like them even more now.  I have begun buying them by the giant bag and eating them each night while I read before I go to sleep.  Yummy.  It's a tasty snack that isn't filling, but is enough to keep the heartburn at bay through the night.

That's pretty much all of the real cravings I've had.  I sometimes wish there were more, as it makes deciding on dinner so much easier! 

Aversions?  That's an easier one.  Seafood.  At least the smell of it.  (I did have some fried clams the other night, but I don't really consider that seafood, especially since it's the only "seafood" I'll eat at all- except for the very occasional tuna fish (mmmm, tuna pea wiggle- are you reading this Mom???) and the even more rare fish stick.
I also had a pretty difficult time in the meat department at Shaw's the other night.  Oh man.  We were deciding on what type and how much hamburger to buy (for tacos!) and we had been there for probably 5 minutes or something and then all of a sudden it was like, "Oh my- Mike, we've gotta hurry this up."  All that raw meat just- ugh- I can't even describe it.  Not cool.  At all.

So I guess that about finishes off this weeks edition of Too Much Information. 
Stay tuned for more!

It's Not Easy Being Green

I really don't know why it's called morning sickness, when it can happen any time.  While I'm trying to eat breakfast?  Check.  While I'm driving to work?  Check.  While I'm supposed to be eating lunch?  Check check flippin' check.  I'm sick as I'm typing this.  I've even gotten sick before I've fallen asleep.

Through it all, I've continued eating.  I try to eat small amounts frequently throughout the day (and that does help).  I have eaten so much ginger, I may as well become a damn ginger plant or tree or root or whatever (I've actually gotten kind of sick of the taste of ginger, so I'm taking a break for right now).  Sometimes I get hungry and that makes me nauseous, so while I'm thinking I'm going to toss my cookies in the middle of Shaws, I'll be like, "Yeah, but that BBQ chicken looks mighty fine."

And, of course, it's not just being sick to my stomach.  There are other, subtler points to pregnancy that just rock my world.  A list to follow:

Don't you dare touch the chesticles:  My boobs are sore.  I mean, really sore.  As in, Tom, stay the hell away or I'll bite your hand off.  (And he has been very respectful).  I've got to stay in a bra day and night or else even the water from the shower can hurt.  I guess it's the price I've got to pay for having a great rack (I've already got to buy a maternity bra).  This kid is NOT going to go hungry.

What do you mean, awake?  I stayed awake last night until 9:00pm.  Now, before you laugh, please know that up until that day, I was literally falling asleep right after dinner.  I would eat, lay down on the couch, and BAM be out until the next morning.  I was averaging about 10-12 hours of sleep a night.  I can't promise that last night wasn't a fluke, but I think I've gotten over the worst of it.  (Knock on wood).

Stop hogging the milk, you damn cow!  Mostly during week 6, I was craving milk like there was no tomorrow.   Now, that's weird, because I'm actually lactose intolerant.  (Not, like, I'd die or anything, but really, you don't want to hang out in an enclosed space with me after I nosh on a creeme with you).  But, yup, milk with Ovaltine was really awesome for awhile there.  As of the time of this writing, I'm without a breakfast sandwich, which was the craving du jour. 

Blame it on my Swiss Cheese Brain:  I literally have lost my mind.  Not like I'm crazy, I just don't know where I put my brain.  I used to be an uber-organized person (I was probably the only college kid I knew who had a filing system) and now, I honestly don't know what the hell I'm supposed to be doing on any given day.  As Tom said, now I know how he feels.

Crying jags:  Oh, yes, friends and neighbors, Stacie's lost her shit.  I have cried while listening to Bob Marley songs on the radio and the amount of canned goods in our pantry (that one lasted a good three hours.  I think the highlight of that little trip through the fun-house was me yelling at Tom, "do you want our baby to be made of this shit?"  while throwing some yellow-corn tortillas at him).    

Bloated as all whoo-haaa:  No, I don't know what a whoo-ha is.  Anyway, yeah.  Despite me eating a realitivley high fiber diet (lots of veg and fruit, whole grains, etc) I'm....well, not moving along the way I probably should.  So I'm kinda bloated. And you wanted to know that, I'm sure.

There are some good points to being pregnant. :)  I can't get over that there is a little being inside of me!  I mean, that sounds like the plot to a bad science fiction movie.  WOMAN TAKEN OVER BY SMALL TADPOLE CREATURE....but I almost cry when I think about how the baby has arms and legs now, and I smiled when I realized that the grapes on my desk are about the size that the baby is now (until I realized that I was going to eat them, and then that was weird).  I absolutely cannot wait to meet this baby and introduce him or her to their daddy.   

The best part about being pregnant is the support that I'm getting from Tom.  As I told him last night, he's the perfect husband for a pregnant lady.  He cooks great meals, he insists that I rest a lot, he truly does not care if the house looks like 8 elephants have tramped through it......I love that man, and I love that we're having a baby together.  :)

Okay, over and out for now.  Next week's topic will be a surprise (meaning that I don't know yet). 

We've Got to Go Shopping!

I usually follow some semblance of decorum.  I like to know how things are "supposed" to be done so that I can either a) do what I want with reckless abandon and giggle at all the right places or b) not make a stupid ass out of myself.  


But there's something about getting a positive pregnancy test that just makes your mouth run faster than....um, something fast.  So I didn't listen to all the advice that said that I should wait until after the first trimester.  I'm still not sure whether I'm giggling with reckless abandon or just making an ass out of myself.  At least people know why I'm dragging myself around like a chick with a hangover (and, yes, equally nauseous). 


Of course, the first person that I told was Stephanie, but my mom probably would have knocked me into next week if she didn't hear directly after Steph.  Their reaction?  "You're kidding, right?  You're joking." Truly, they didn't believe me at first! 


But once I sent them a picture of me with the test, they got it in a big way.  My mom cried and screamed and was more excited than on my wedding day (I think, it was hard to tell--she had drank a lot of wine that day).  My dad cracked a beer in celebration of his grandbaby to be.  After a lot of "I'm going to be a grandma!" and "Oh, my god, you're not messing with me, right?" my mom sealed the deal with:  "We've got to go shopping!"   
 

My brother and his wife were harder to track down.  See, they never answer their phone, and hardly ever answer their email (bad role models to be, you two)!  So, knowing that, and knowing that Meredith would explode with glee and estrogen, Mom and I invited them up to the family homestead to "hang out."  

But things don't always go as planned, especially when Andy and Meredith and other assorted Gordons are involved.  Andy first says that he's got plans, and then maybe he can fit us in in the morning.  I could tell that he didn't understand what the "BIG BIG NEWS" was.  So, finally, I just told him in an email.  "You're going to be an Uncle!  We're pregnant!  Will you come up to Mom and Dad's NOW?"  

I was right, by the way.  Meredith left us the funniest message on our answering machine, asking me if I was showing yet (ha!  no.  at that point, I was 5 weeks) and if Tom was excited, and squealing and laughing and in general just gushing with baby excitement.  I could understand perhaps every third word.  

Tom was able to tell his sister and his mother with one phone call.  He said, "okay, extend your arms out in front of you.  Now raise your thumbs.  Now point your thumbs at yourself.....Guess who's going to be a grandma/aunt?"  I could hear the squeal where "this guy!" should have been from across the room.  Aunt Morgan is, at last report, still getting used to her new title (not surprising, given that she's only 16)!  Tom's brother, Jackson, broke out into a huge smile when we told him (too big, given that he lives with us temporarily and will have to deal with how bitchy and hungry and bitchy and tired and bitchy I am and will be).   

And, yes, I told my boss, too.  I work in a wicked cool non-profit where waiting to tell good news is actively discouraged.  So, I told my boss....and he's been telling everyone else!  He was just as excited as anyone in my family.   

So, now that the secret's out, I am free to use the pregnancy to my advantage:  to totally ignore the housework and to laze about on the couch, going to bed early,  making obscene demands upon the other poor people in the household, eating wantonly and, yes, smiling a lot--because now that I'm pregnant, I've got 9 months' worth of reasons.  :)  I'm gonna be a mama--I couldn't be happier!!!  

Oh, baby, what a family you're being born into!  I hope you've got your daddy's thick skin and sense of humor....you're going to need it! 



Next up:  It's not easy being green.....hooray for morning sickness!

Giving The News!

So, we found out on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 and managed to only tell a very few people before we told our families.  I, of course, told Stacie who told Tom and Mike told one of his coworkers at the co-op.  So, we waited and waited and waited.  FINALLY, Sunday (the 17th) arrived.  Most every Sunday Mike and Tom have gaming (they role play a la Dungeons and Dragons, but with werewolves and pirates).  The game happens at our friend Ryan's house which is about an hour trip from our house, but puts us about 40 minutes from my parents house.  Stacie and I took the morning while the guys were busy and went to breakfast (at I.H.O.P.) and then went to do some shopping; I needed some new knee socks and Stacie had a few things to pick up as well.
At 11:30, we go back to Ryan's and get our respective spouses and Mike and I head north.

My Parents:
So we drive another 40 minutes (total time in car now totals 140 minutes including driving to the mall and back).  We get to my parents house at about 12:30 and my dad (now known as Grampie) is napping and my mom (Nannie) is still in her pajamas and house coat!  This is out of the realm of normalcy for her.  We find out that she needs to be at my cousin's house at 1:30 with a birthday cake for her youngest kid's birthday party.  So we ended up being a little rushed, but it was okay.  I looked at my mom and said, "Well, since you need to get going, I guess I'll just tell you, we're pregnant!"  And mom says, "No'h!" and proceeds to squeal like a little girl.  Let me tell you, I don't think I've ever heard a noise like that come outta my mother.  My dad's hearing isn't quite what it used to be (don't tell him that, though) and when he finally figures out what's been said he gets a little teary, (he's an emotional kinda guy) gets up out of his recliner while mom's hugging me, and then gives me a hug and says, "I'm so happy.......for me."  He's a funny man.  I love my parents.  So we sit and talk about how I'm feeling (good), how far along I am (about 4-5 weeks) and that kind of stuff for a little bit.  Then mom has to head out to my cousin's and Mike and I head out as well.  I told them that they could call their parents and siblings and let them know the news.

My Sister (Natalie aka "Ant Nattie"):
Before we left my parents' house I call Natalie who lives in the next town over and get directions to her apartment (she moved recently and I hadn't yet been to the new place) and then we head over there under the pretense of "seeing the new apartment."  It takes about 15 minutes to get there (total time in car now 155 minutes).  We go inside her TINY apartment (it's got a kitchen, living room, and bathroom) and hang out for a little bit.  We start talking about our Cousin Dave's wedding which will be in August and I say to Natalie, "I'll tell you the same thing I said to Mom, I'm gonna have a BIG belly for that wedding." And waited for it to sink in.  She teared up (catching the theme for the day yet?) and said, "really?" and gave me a hug.  We talked for a bit and when I told her that we knew on Wednesday she was like, "You played us all week?"
:)
Yes, Yes, I did.


(Some of) His Family:
Once we left Natalie's we drove to Mike's mom's house (total time in car now 305 minutes) and visited with his mom (Sheri- aka "Yaya" perhaps) and grandmother (Nan).  We finally got the two of them in Nan's kitchen (they live in a duplex-type house) and Mike says, "So, Steph's gonna have a baby."  It takes a moment for it to sink in on Sheri and Nan didn't even hear him, we had to tell her again.  Sheri says (over and over while fanning her eyes), "I'm gonna be a gramma, I'm gonna be a gramma, I'm gonna be a gramma, I'm gonna be a gramma."  She got all teary, too.  Nan took it in stride.  She's got a few great-grandchildren already, so she's gotten the news before, but she was still very happy and excited.  She later said to us, "That's gonna be the luckiest kid, the two of you have so much love in you."  That was a really nice thing to hear.
So, Sheri finished making dinner (chicken, potatoes, veggies, and the ALL IMPORTANT GRAVY- more on that next time).  Eventually Marke (Sheri's husband/Mike's step-dad AKA- Pop) and Matt (Mike's 16 year old step-brother AKA- Uncle Matt) get back from snowmobiling all day and we spill the news to them.  Sheri didn't even want to let Marke get his coat off.  He said, "Can I take my sweater off at least?" and Mike responds, "Only if it doesn't take you 9 months."  Aaaaaannnnnnd...... nothing.  It goes COMPLETELY over his head.  MATT picks up on it, though.  Once it sinks in for Marke, though, he was pretty excited.  [an aside- he called earlier this week and wanted to know if there was any baby movement yet- yes, I'm only about 6 weeks along] He is pretty excited.

My Sister (Annette aka-Ant Nette?):
Annette lives in New Jersey with her husband Dave and their son Billy.  So, I had to give her the news over the phone when we got back from the in-laws (total time in car for Sunday- news giving day- 340 minutes, over 5 and a half hours!). 
I called Annette when I hoped she would be done putting Billy to bed, but failed.  She was in the middle of the ritual, so we didn't get to talk long.  She, too was very excited and at this point I was EXHAUSTED and I don't very well remember our conversation.  Maybe she'll fill out the story in the comments?....

In closing
I don't recommend traveling over 5 hours in one day to tell people you're having a baby.  It makes you a little cranky and a LOT tired.  Spread it out a bit.  :)


Next up- pregnancy symptoms....

These Girls Are Pretty Funny

Aren't they, though?

Anyhow, I just love Steph. And pregnant Steph is great, too.

I hope something blog-worthy happens to me, soon.

My Little Seahorse

A part of Tom, a part of me....a whole new life to be.

Tom and I were married in September of 2008, and while we knew that a family would be in our future, we also knew that it was important to have some time just as a couple.  So we acquired some cats, and a couple dogs, and moved to a big house.  By Thanksgiving of this year, we were ready to start trying.  And, by January, we found out we had been successful!

Now, let me back up.  I am not an insensitive person, and I knew that my best friend was having trouble conceiving.  My heart was breaking for her.  We are very open and share just about everything, and yet I had no idea how I would tell her when the time came.... 

I took my first pregnancy test (Equate) on January 10th, the day that I expected my period.  The "positive" line was so faint that I thought it was an evaporation line or my hopeful mind working overtime.  I told Tom that I didn't think I was pregnant, and I threw the test away.  I was relieved and dissapointed at the same time. Relieved because I could hold off on breaking Stephanie's heart (or, hopefully, until she had conceived) and dissapointed because I so badly wanted to be carrying Tom's child.     

I did some research on faint positive pregnancy test results, and all the information that I got was the same:  it could be a mistake, it could be an evaporation line, but I was probably pregnant.  I confirmed that information in What to Expect When You're Expecting....I still couldn't believe it, though.  I showed the information to Tom, who just smiled and smiled and hugged me.  We both cautioned ourselves not to get overly excited, though. 'Cause, you know, dissapointment sucks.   

A few days later (Tuesday, the 12th) I took a ClearBlue test (first thing in the morning, of course).  I closed my eyes and thought happy thoughts until I opened my eyes.....and saw "PREGNANT".  I smiled and cried and hugged my belly and told the little cluster of cells how much I loved it.  And then I climbed into bed with Tom, and told him that he was going to be a dad.  He held me and told me how happy he was and how much he loved me.  Oh, little Seahorse, you've made us so happy.  We already love you, and can't wait to meet you!

I did tell Stephanie that day (before I told my parents, even).  I knew that she was heartbroken, and so I tried to quell my excitement (but to give her credit, she said all the right things and was a wonderful best friend).  The next day, however, she told me that she was pregnant, too!  That moment was one of my life's happiest (right up there with my wedding day, and of course, finding out that I was pregnant).  I'm so blessed and happy to be sharing this with my wonderful husband and my wonderful best friend.   

 

Next post:  telling the parents and friends while battling nausea....Stay tuned to Pregnancy Central!   

 

One Week Ago Today....

I found out that my life was going to change forever.

I guess, technically, we can back this story up about 18 months to July of 2009.  That's when The Husband and I decided that we would officially begin trying for a little one.  I had quit smoking (mostly) a month before and it seemed like a good time to try.  My cycles have never been what you'd call regular (or even close to it!) so I knew that we would have some difficulty, I just didn't think it would take a year and a half to conceive.  We went to the doctor, I was put on Metformin (which is a medication for diabetes- which I don't have) and waited.  Our PA told us she had given it to other women in my situation with good results.  Well, it didn't work for me.  Also, it made me nauseous every day and that was no fun.  So our next step was to go to another doctor.  Our PA sent us to the OB/GYN office at the local hospital, more specifically to Dr. V.  She is AWESOME.  I really like her.  Of course this didn't make magic happen in and of itself.  We had to do some tests- sperm analysis for him, insulin tests and uterine biopsy for me (I think he got off easy!). All of our tests came back normal, which was a huge relief and at the same time an irritation.  If there's nothing wrong, why aren't we pregnant yet?  Easy Answer- I wasn't ovulating.  Next step?  More medication.  Dr. V put me on a regimen of Provera and Clomid. We started this in November.  Cycle one didn't take, so on cycle two she upped the dosage.  Cycle two took.

So here we are, in January of 2010.  18 months from when we started.  On Tuesday the 12th my bestie best friend told me she and her husband were pregnant.  I was very happy for them, but very sad for me.  I'll let her tell you their story....  Tuesday was a rough day for me.  It was disheartening for me to know that I still was not pregnant.  It seemed like every time I turned around the fates or gods or whatever were there not giving me what I needed and wanted most.  The Husband was very supportive through all this though; I love him.   :)

On Wednesday morning I took another pregnancy test, knowing it would be negative again.  I resigned myself to that fact even before I peed on the stick.  Imagine my utter shock when the "not" wasn't there taunting me before the "pregnant."  I walked from the bathroom into the bedroom where The Husband was still in bed and said, "Mike...." and showed him the test.  He had no idea what was going on.  He thought I was trying to hand him a Sharpie!  He said, "seriously?!?" and then we just held each other for a while.

It was a nice morning.....

Stay tuned for our families' reactions.